Training with Confidence and Humility

by | Jul 31, 2018 | articles and writings | 4 comments

by Ania Small Ph.D.

Looking for the right balance in Aikido practice

 

Being confident enough to embody Aikido principles while staying open to new information is a balancing act.  Finding the right mix of these attitudes creates a winning combination for learning. It allows us to own what we know, and be aware of how much else is there to learn. In fact, you need one to develop the other. Without humility, confidence can turn into arrogance, and lack of confidence can breed self-doubt.
In Aikido practice, confidence manifests as strong intent, or ability to initiate the movement, as well as execute the technique and follow through with an appropriate force.  Humility allows us to receive new information, see our openings and adjust our movement.  Both attitudes  inform each other and rely on being mindful.  In other words, being confident allows us to stay humble, and in turn, being humble helps develop confidence.
I’ve heard several teachers say that they started training Aikido with with a plan to master it in a couple of years. The real learning begun when they realized it was impossible. As much as lack of humility can prevent progress, lack of confidence can make it equally difficult.  Being unsure weakens mental energy, or intent, making manifesting Aikido principles difficult.

Aikido is rooted in Japanese culture, and the notion of being humble and confident can be confusing for westerners. The sempai-kohai structure makes it even more difficult. Confidence can be confused with arrogance and humility with undermining one’s ability. Sometimes that confusion manifests as “superficial humility”, putting ourselves down or being extra deferential to our seniors. It can also breed arrogance, especially for those higher in the Aikido sempai-kohai hierarchy

For most, confidence comes with years of practice, and the balance unfolds naturally. It is possible though, especially when one mostly teaches or works with familiar partners to forget how to be humble. And sometimes we struggle with confidence, and continue to doubt our ability, even after years of training. Both attitudes tend to slow down the progress.

Developing confidence and humility:

Being confident when you are smaller or less experienced than your partner is not always easy.  It allows us to train with the same attitude no matter who we practice with. Being smaller or weaker can also be an advantage and force us to develop better skills. On the other hand, being bigger and stronger limits self-doubt, and combined with openness to learning can help with progress.
It takes confidence to be humble and receive feedback as information and not criticism. Hearing it, it’s easy to focus on what you’re doing wrong, rather than to simply add the teachers suggestion to what you’re doing right.  It’s a subtle difference, but perceiving feedback as criticism can send you into a rabbit hole of self-doubt, where manifesting Aikido becomes impossible.
The French psychologist, Jean Piaget, who in the 1930s developed a theory of cognitive development, saw learning as the process of assimilation, accommodation and equilibration.  Assimilation is when we fit new information into what we already know.  Accommodation is used when the existing knowledge doesn’t work, and needs to be changed to deal with new information.  It happens with some level of psychological discomfort. Equilibration drives the learning process and helps us restore the balance of assimilation and accommodation.

Seminars are a great opportunity for this process. It can be lost if you’re focusing on what you already know, making accommodation difficult, or forgetting everything you’ve previously learned, thus sacrificing your confidence and assimilation. While in the first case you don’t feel any discomfort that comes from “not knowing”, in the second the level of frustration makes it difficult to learn new information. Neither conditions are optimal for progress. Being open to learning new information without sacrificing existing knowledge would be a better approach. Maintaining the balance between confidence, which allows assimilation, and humility, opening a door to accommodation, is crucial to learning and equilibration.

Final thoughts

 

Experiences in regular class, seminar, whether we train with our teachers, peers, or juniors can help us find the right balance of attitudes. It takes insight, self-monitoring, feedback and self-correction to navigate the process. Watching out for arrogance and insecurity and ways they sabotage our learning can be as important as physical practice.
Working on balancing these attitudes requires applying Aikido principle of simultaneous yielding and entering (yin and yang). It’s a skill that could be used in learning in any area of study, and one of the lessons from the Art of Peace that can easily be applied to everyday life. In fact, living with a good balance of confidence and humility could be a great outcome of Aikido training.
Ania teaches at Aikido of Maine and is a Counseling Psychologist in private practice.

4 Comments

  1. Dave Brainard
    Dave Brainard on August 1, 2018 at 1:42 am

    This is not just about Aikido. Many confuse arrogance and an unquestioned stance with confidence now, and the question of how to show confidence without hubris is something I wish I had an answer to…

    Be safe out there! Cheers!
    Dave

    • ania small
      ania small on August 2, 2018 at 11:11 am

      Thanks Dave!

  2. Quentin Cooke
    Quentin Cooke on August 24, 2018 at 12:22 pm

    What I especially enjoyed about this article was the direct application of how we need to practice on the mat, but then how this would equally apply in any learning situation. Aikido prepares us for a positive life in such a powerful and direct way.

    • ania small
      ania small on September 5, 2018 at 3:01 pm

      Looks like we’re on the same page, regarding applying Aikido do everyday life. Thanks for your comment Quentin!