Come in, friend, out of the rain
To lovely Aikido of Maine.
Please step lively, don’t be shy,
I see you’ve met that little guy.
That’s Kai, not shy, and glad to flee
The shadow of the Bodi tree
For all the people he can meet
And now he greets them off the street!
Which makes things here a lot of fun.
Hey guys! He got another one!
We’ll meet some folks right at the start,
And I’ve some warnings to impart,
But I believe the fun begins
With gossip gleaned from idol chat…
Nick and Steven? Thespians.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Abby’s height can seem bizarre.
It’s like she’s someone’s Avatar.
And Roger V., himself quite mellow,
Looks like Elvis. Well, Costello.
Tess, I guess, just loves to pin,
Though Matt stays home to phone it in.
Tariq’s technique deserves renown,
“C’est magnifique!” says Jean Francois.
At Avner, though, he yells, “Quel clown!”
(That’s “what a clown” in Quebecois.)
At times, when going for a laugh,
Ken will needle you, no doubt.
Zach Zamboni used to gaffe,
But now he warmly smooths things out.
And then there’s Cloud, whose nose was broke
While telling Ania Polish jokes.
Quite shocked, Diana kicked his tail
And locked him up in Ryan’s jail,
Where, hot like Thelma and Louise,
Leila got him on his knees
As Steph securely cinched his legs
And Sandra pelted him with eggs!
So don’t rock the boat (until you can float)
Or tip the canoe as Tyler too
Will put on a choke hold and rock you to sleep,
Or throw you, like Gary, right down to the floor,
Or Josh will rise up like a hulk from the deep,
And Josh can be scary, but Gary is more.
Think quick if by mistake you’re pinned
By Rick whose job is breaking wind,
And God forbid that Rick should fart,
But Julie did and called it art.
Did that appall us? I’d say yup.
It wholly horrified both Eds.
It made Dave Merrill’s hair stand up
And braided Harold Sanchies’ dreads!
We all got green around the gills
And turned to Chris and Bill for health,
But though quite ill, there were no pills
When Gil got green around himself.
Don’t worry if you rip your gi,
Scott’s boss at Bean’s will fix it free,
And likewise, if your bones get stomped
Dave H. can get you worker’s comp,
Though, don’t get cute with Jared’s pride,
Or all that loot will be denied.
Feeling dark? Don’t hope for hugs.
See Mark for psychotropic drugs
Or Nolan, doling Belgian beer
To guys like Mike who run in fear
Or Tim who sobs and sails away,
But not to Rob, who’s M.I.A.
But he’ll be back to bring the pain
At lovely Aikido of Maine,
So join us now, and throw by throw
You’ll learn the path… Hey, where’d you go?
By Mark Shaughnessy